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Posts Tagged ‘Mother’s Day’

I had difficulty becoming a mother – physically, I mean.  There was nothing I wanted on this earth more than to be an opera singer AND a mother at the same time.  While my nascent singing career was slowly taking wing, our best efforts to become parents crashed.

I was getting a bit miffed at God for not blessing us with a pregnancy while dozens of other women – some who weren’t even trying – were getting pregnant from nothing more than a cross-eyed look from their husbands.  We were doing our part, employing every trick in the book short of using a turkey baster, but it was for naught. 

Then, several humiliating fertility tests later, a miracle happened…

I couldn’t even look at the pregnancy test.  “You look at it,” I said, “I can’t take another disappointment.”

“What am I looking for?” he asked.

“Two lines.  If there are two lines, it’s positive.”

“Two lines in each window, or just two lines?”

“Just two lines,” I sighed.

(Pause.)

“There are two lines,” he said.

And then the tears began.  All the years of hope, disappointment, anger at my body, anger at God… all of it came out in great, gaping sobs.  I was becoming a mother.

On the night she finally arrived, I hadn’t even known I was in labor.  But as naïve as I was about my labor pains, I was more naïve about what being a mother is all about.

I thought that by becoming a mother, I would gracefully ferry some soul or souls through the storms of life, and one day, my children would “rise up and call me blessed.” (Proverbs 31:28)

Ha.

Motherhood, like marriage, is holy-making.  It is a great mirror held up to show your worst character traits, your deepest scars, and your biggest fears.  It challenges you on every front and beats the selfishness out of you every day. 

Motherhood is not for sissies.  It is a pounding, molding, refining process designed to bring you one step closer to Christlikeness.

The flip side of the motherhood mirror reflects strength you didn’t know you had, love you didn’t know you were capable of, and occasionally, it can even fill you with a downright unholy pride.

I had this whole motherhood thing all backward.

Being a mother is not just for me to grow up another human being.

It is meant to grow me up into the woman God created me to be.

 motherhood

 

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30, NIV)

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