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Posts Tagged ‘Aging’

Tomorrow is my birthday.  Again.  I know this will shock you, given what you know of me, but I am in a contemplative mood rather than a celebratory one.  (Inching closer to mortality does that to a person.)  I’m even a little blue.  So I have been holding onto this:

“Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” (2 Corinthians 4:16, NIV)

This human body that I inhabit continues to remind me that I am not the woman I was in my twenties.  Fine.  Let’s just have a look at me back then.  Ladies and gentlemen, behold me, twenty years ago.

Me in my twenties

Fig. 1

 

Figure One shows the following:

A.  Blonde, highlighted hair – on my hard, stubborn head.

B.  Gleaming white smile (had braces three times) – above a chin often stuck out in defiance.

C.  Underdeveloped heart – but one that God mercifully took on as His project.

D.  Short skirts and high heels meant to show off a nice set of gams.

No, I am not the woman I was.  My outsides are definitely showing signs of wear.  And please, let’s not even talk about what childbearing does to a body… 

Here I am now.

This is me now

Fig. 2

Figure Two shows less of a figure.

A.  My hair is naturally curly, so I let it be curly.  Gray hairs arrive daily.

B.  My smile has laugh lines around it. There is experience around my eyes.  Worry over loved ones has made creases on my brow.

C.  My heart is a bit bigger now.  God is shaping and growing it – sometimes painfully, sometimes joyfully.

D.  Ugh.  I wear jeans most of the time to cover the saggy places, but I still wear heels.  😉

I miss my younger self sometimes.  But honestly, I don’t want to BE her again.  My husband, bless him, says that I am more attractive to him now than I was then.  I hope that God feels the same way when He looks upon the heart He is renewing, refreshing and re-creating, day by day.

When I blow out my birthday candles this year, my prayer/wish will be for eyes to see what our great and good God is doing to my insides, and acceptance of what’s happening on my outsides.  Are you with me?

May He continue His work of renewing us inwardly, so that every day is our re-birthday.

Happy re-birthday to us!

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